Telemarketing replies...

[mAdMan]

Charter: Hello I'm calling from charter

Me: What is this in regards to? I paid my bill.

Charter: Sir i am pleased to offer you a free roku3 and over 300 channels including pay per view....

Me: (cuts her off)...I DONT NEED YOUR CHARITY! IF I WANT SOMETHING I WILL CALL YOU!

Charter: *click*

Flawless victory.







Do you have a good one?

[CamplinP]

I have used the old Seinfeld line. Oh, let me get your home number and I will call you back, what's that? You don't want to be bothered at home? Now you know how I feel. Click!

[tamiya]

Do you have a good one?

"DO YOU KNOW HOW BAD YOUR SIGNAL IS AT THIS JOINT??! ITS SO WEAK THE STREAM IS FOREVER BREAKING UP AND BUFFERING, ITS SO FREAKING BAD IT TAKES TWO DAYS TO UPDATE THE EPG!! SO WHY DA HECK DO I WANT 300 MORE CHANNELS WHEN I CANT EVEN WATCH ONE!!!"

dammit don't ya hate it these days with cordless ya can't SLAM THE PHONE DOWN anymore grrr

[slotcarrod]

Depends on my mood, usually it's "No thank you.. click!" Some times it's just "Click!"

I have often thought about using my best East Indian accent with some sort of bs story and just prank them! "You know damn right!... bastard guy!"

[RC10th]

Sometimes if I'm cheeky I'll let them ramble on for 10 minutes followed by a "No thanks"

The result is usually an "ugh" on the other line.

[Halgar]

ALL calls go to the machine for screening. IF you are someone I want to talk to, I'll pick up. IF you want to talk to me and I don't answer, leave a message. IF you are a telemarketer, get an F'ing clue by the millionth time you've called me that I'm not interested!

We got new phones a few years ago (land line ) that have caller ID and caller blocking. We were literally getting crap 3 to 5 calls per day, so we started blocking them, we still get the calls, but they are far fewer now at 1 or 2 a week.

For the door to door bible thumper I've run the gamut from polite, to cheeky, to bone jarring door slam in the face. Now I've got a 6' chain link fence that keeps them at bay.

[alien3t]

About a year after my Grandma past away.

"Hello can we please speak to Wilma Nelson"

"No but if you can let me know, be cool to talk to her in Heaven"

Just makes them feel bad.

But after she passed same thing but asking for my Grandpa.

"he died in 1978, and you are calling now for what?"

[liquidrc.com]

"I've already got one." is pretty bomb-proof.

[mAdMan]

glad to see you guys have a sense of humor too!

[Fred19K]

I had a door-to-door sales lady who said she was from Verizon (it could have been Comcast, I do not remember) stop by my house a couple of months ago. It was all sorts of shady and I think she was a scammer because she came by after dark and only did my house (not my next door neighbor). Fairly certain she was not trying to sell me something and most likely attempting to steal my ID. I was polite to her, but I really do not like strangers knocking on my door after dark.

[RCveteran]

If I don't recognize the number which basically means anything not in my contacts I either answer in a really bad accent of some sort or an extremely angry HELLO. Then it's usually "wrong number" or "he's dead". I love when they apologize