I love hot, spicy food, but like most of you, it can't just be hot for the sake of burning your lips off. There has to be flavor or it's missing the point of being "food".
Jalapenos are not too hot (though you sometimes get one that has a kick), but they typically have a nicer flavor for cooking.
Habaneros are much hotter but don't really have much flavor at all. Sauces made with habaneros are almost always very hot but can taste like anything--or nothing-but-hot.
I tried some really nice, hot, flavorful peppers while travelling in South America, the Peruvian Rocoto, Aji Amarillo and Aji Limo peppers. They're said to be almost as hot as the habanero, but have a nice flavor too. Not too many people here in North America have heard about them. They make a dipping sauce for french fries with Aji Amarillo, it's yellow, looks like mustard, but doesn't taste anything like mustard (which I hate). Peruvians usually have their fries with Aji Amarillo sauce instead of ketchup. It definitely has kick. Aji Limo is usually shredded and served in a dipping bowl with lemon juice and oil/vinegar with ceviche, a fish recipe where the fish is prepared by letting it sit in an acidic juice (lime, lemon, vinegar, not exactly sure) which "cooks" the fish. It's very tasty and refreshing, served cold for lunch on a hot day is best. I don't like sushi either (I need my fish cooked) so I was quite surprised at how much I enjoyed it.
The newest, hottest peppers I've heard about were recently developed in India, one called the Bhut Jolokia, over 400 times hotter than Tabasco, but I just learned now after a bit of research that 2 more peppers have exceeded that one in hotness, the Naga Viper and Dorset Naga peppers. I've never tried any of those three. The Dorset Naga had a Scoville rating of 1,598,227 heat units. That's just insane.
There's so many things one can do to prepare a spicy dish that has plenty of kick but doesn't have to fry your tongue off or bring the water in the toilet bowl to a boil a few hours later.
THEYTOOKMYTHUMB, I'd love to TAKEYOURHOTSAUCE someday.
